40 days and 40 nights

Jesus spent 40 days and nights in the wilderness before he was tempted by the devil.

I spent 40 days and nights in HK escaping from the real world. What do modern day devils do?

Death is dead, love has won, Christ has conquered

That's what Easter means. It's such a beautiful occasion, brings hope and joy. Makes earthly life temporary and trivial.

I was reminded on Sunday that this is the Easter week. I think resurrection is the most beautiful thing in life - actually, not just life - the universe.

May a new life begin after this Easter weekend.

Two lives

Life is so unfair. There are people who work so hard they don't get to see any daylight; there are people who fear they would lose their job; there are people who have lost their job and are looking for one.

And I get to sleep till 10am every day, wander somewhere to meet friends for lunch, talk about how much they love (little) or hate (much) their job, wander further or watch a movie or play squash or have a nap, meet with someone else for dinner (normally I would have to wait for quite a while for them to get off work, sometimes hours...).

Six weeks in HK makes me feel like a HK citizen again (even though my HK ID card tells me I have always been). Of course there are many things I love about being in HK, and there will certainly be things I miss when I go back to the Land of Expensive and Unreliable Transport (guess what!). But I could see many people are jealous of my position and the freedom I have. To be honest, I would be if I were them. Life isn't always perfect. Actually, life is never perfect. But I just seem to be so lucky, or blessed. When I leave HK, I will be glad to leave the imperfections of living in HK behind. Ironically, when I escaped from London, I was in search for things to fill the gaps of my London life. I wonder whether it is possible to have two lives, or homes which complement each other.

3 more days

The chance of me having another home-cooked meal in HK is increasingly slim. Feels like having back-to-back meetings back at work. Shame I didn't bring my secretary with me. Oh well if I still can't meet up with somebody with 6 weeks in HK, when will I get to do it? So secondary school friends, A level friends, Uni friends all play a part in sampling culinary delights with me this week.

當吃的 good food 我也吃過了, 我也再無所求.

And then there's the last-minute shopping, if only I could bring the whole of HK back. I think I have lived abroad for long enough that I have learnt to survive without supplies from HK...actually maybe clothes my size.

Dreams

When your life is all planned out there is little scope to dream. Only when there's a blank page in front of you you can begin to dream.

I am dreaming. I am dreaming about my next 5k, 10k, half marathon, marathon and finer skills on the squash court. I am dreaming of speaking another language. I am dreaming of playing the guitar. I am dreaming of possessing better knowledge of the Bible. I am dreaming of making everyone around me smile.

I am dreaming. Except that I know I can make these dreams a reality.

5 stages of death

From watching House I understood that there are 5 stages of death:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

You probably go through the same when you are ill, except that this cycle will keep repeating, and every time it does it gets more frustrating. Sometimes you linger on a certain stage longer. Sometimes I never get past Stage One.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

I suddenly had a craving for Chinese books. In the last 8 years apart from reading HK news online and my Chinese bible I rarely had a chance to read Chinese. Nowadays with many things you can actually read online. Novels are too short-lived. You read it and then you put it on the shelf. It's not worth carrying it 6,000 miles when your baggage limit is only 20kg. Religious books make me look more intellectual, but the better ones are written in English.

I went to quite a bookstore today with the aim of coming out with a book. Number 9 on the chart was a book by a Japanese author and runner 村上春樹 Haruki Murakami (translated into Chinese). For some reason I have been quite exposed to Japanese culture recently, from going to Japan to watching more Japanese movies. What caught my eyes was the title: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running《關於跑步，我說的其實是……》And I realised I was subconsciously attracted to anything to do with running, even books.

Blessed

I have met quite a few people and had quite a few good chats in the past month, something I couldn't normally fit in my life before. With some I hadn't met for a few years. It makes me feel so blessed to be able to share, catch up with, support and pray for the friends I met through various walks of life.

Reminiscence as it may seem, but the rememberance of good times and presence of good friends make me feel more positive, or at least thankful about my circumstances.

Previously when I could only spend 2 weeks on holiday in HK, I would just meet the people I kept in touch with most. But now with 6 weeks I'm trying to dig deeper, both with the number of people I meet and the depth of the conversations we have.

It's interesting to see how in the past we may be doing the same thing, studying or whatever, and now have walked our separate paths, some better than the others. If nothing else I have learnt a lot through the chats I had these few weeks, and it makes me smile to know that there are more of those to come.

Change of gear

It has now swiftly come to the second quarter of 2009, and after counting my remaining days in HK with both my hands I still have a spare finger left. It's probably time for me to get myself ready for the challenges ahead. But there are still people to meet, things to buy, food to eat and squash to play. This March was quite different from all the other ones. No work, no study, only rest. It's a month that helped me see things from a different perspective and live life at a slower pace. However, if you asked me whether I want to spend the rest of my life like this I would probably say no. No more laissez-faire, April will see me shifting to a higher gear and being more focussed, while not forgetting that I'm still on holiday.

1 April

1 April brings back some hollowing memories. Six years ago when Hong Kong was plagued by SARS, I was back here for my Easter holiday. I had never seen HK people being so deflated before. And I remember that night watching news report of Leslie Cheung killing himself. There were looks of disbelief on people's faces that face masks could not hide. People were afraid of being in contact with, or even talking to others, for fear of contracting, or spreading the deadly disease. It's certainly something I do not wish to have happened, but once HK had got through it, positive vibes appeared. Everyone seemed to have learnt a lesson. Being able to touch and talk to your family members was no longer taken for granted. During the post-SARS period a record number of HK people turned to Christ.

And a bit before SARS, we had the Asian financial crisis. I was at the tender age of 13 then. My only memory seems to be the stock market falling every day, accompanied with cases of suicide dominating the headlines. Convenient as it may seem, many people chose to throw themselves off tall buildings thanks to their abundance in the territory. How HK survived I don't remember, but all I know it's part of the economic cycle, and these things happen.

Now even though Asia seems to be doing better than the rest of the world, it's hard to say someone isn't affected at the slightest. When bad news strikes at such massive scale, when everyone's on a sinking boat, instead of blaming each other people turn to other forms of refuge. Bible sales have reportedly increased during this 'financial tsunami', as the HK people call it. Perhaps 'disasters' are needed so that some people would turn to their senses. While I'm not in a position to say why some 'bad', or unfair, or unfortunate things happen, all I know is it's up to me to bring something good out of it.

Thailand

I feel obliged to write something about Thailand. It was a good trip, and once again it made me feel how small I am.

Weather forecast was thunderstorms, but there wasn't a hint of it in the air. Occasionally there was a lone greyish cloud, but that was it. Temperature hovered between 30 and 35 degrees. The food was ok. Apart from Mango Tree in Victoria (and the thought of mangoes), I was never interested in Thai food anyway. Now I have seen for myself how much Thailand has to offer to tourists, from the naughtiest (and v. illegal) to the most relaxing. Take a cross-section of the tourists in Thailand and you probably get all kinds of people you will meet in your life. Not expecting much before the trip I found myself up in the sky under a parachute, swimming in the crystal clear sea off Coral Island, walking 5m under the sea feeding the sealife and feeling the coral, riding on the back of an elephant, having a baby tiger on my lap and feeding it (with a milk bottle!), firing a .22 rifle, not to mention the shark fin soup and Thai massage I had...

This is an absolute must-try (and the little person you see in the picture is me)

Poor Piglet being threatened by Foster Mummy Tiggeress (Poor Piglet has to dress like a Tigger).

While Mummy Piglet feeds her babies and Tiggeress's babies (apparently Mummy Piglet's milk will make the Baby Tiggers tamer, so that people like skiver can take photos with them when they grow up)

Thanks for all the prayers. The trip was unexpectedly smooth. I must go to bed now to make up for the 4.30am rise this morning.

Blue screen of death

I think my laptop is more ill than me. The official diagnosis is 'Blue Screen of Death'. I can't think of anything any worse :'( If anyone knows how to solve the problem let me know. 重酬.

But for a few days I'll be leaving my laptop in peace and trying to get some sunshine in...Thailand.

Sleep

I know writing this will make a lot of people jealous but I'm getting 10-12 hours' sleep a day 90% of the time during this break. (sometimes more!)

Apart from being jet-lagged the first week, getting to sleep isn't an issue at all. Last night I felt a bit cold when I went to bed so wanted to put a jumper on, and this morning (or afternoon rather) when I got up the jumper was only through my right arm.

I fell asleep putting on the jumper.

Beat that.

老了

昨天打完 squash 後今天動彈不得, 只有左手稍有知覺. 可以重拾這種肌肉酸痛的感覺挺爽的. 唉! 想當年天天打球也不累, 可能真的老了!

SQUASHED!

Now that my free gym period has expired I have turned to squash, so that my squash racket doesn't think it flew all the way from London for nothing.

And today I went to play squash with...two squash balls. It's great fun. They always get beaten. But my fitness only allowed me to play for around 40 minutes.

If memory serves me right I haven't played squash for over 3 years, main reasons being lack of partner and lack of court (and lack of time, lack of fitness, lack of motivation, lack of money too). So if you see this and don't mind being my 'partner' let me know.

Squash is a wonderful thing. I don't need a partner. But of course having someone else on court will save quite a lot of running. (misquoting the Bible - 'two are better than one' - Ecc 4:9)

When playing by myself it's totally up to me how I play it. I could have a very easy session of forehand / backhand / forehand / backhand and not break a sweat. I could hit the ball hard or feel smug tapping a beautiful drop shot only to make life harder for myself. I could (or so I try) serve some killer serves only to be picking balls up the whole time. Sometimes life is only as hard as I play it.

Thank you, little squash balls - until next time.

看中醫記 A trip to the Chinese medicine practitioner

覺得在香港六星期也不去看中醫有點作孽, 今天的起心肝去了看, 反正在家附近. 朋友介紹的, 不用吃藥, 醫生只需用一支尖尖的東西這裡點一點, 那裡點一點 (不是針灸), 聽說很快就見效. 我姑且試一試. I have nothing to lose, apart from the few hundred dollars, 不用車資, 又不用喝一些unknown brown substance 入肚子.

到了診所看見醫生挺忙的, 不過幸好也有空看我這個突如其來的病人. 他把過脈後說: 你的肺比較弱. Hm...I knew, thanks for telling me, I thought. 然後他就開始點來點去啦. 是否有效要經歲月考驗才知道, 起碼我在香港也看了個英國看不到的醫生.

If western medicine was a hard subject, Chinese medicine is a mystery. 這次回香港看見每街每巷都開了不少中成藥舖, 可能香港人都覺得西藥不湊效, 要試試中藥. 這次這個中醫師更對我說了一大堆英語, 看來挺有根據. 醫藥真是...博大精深!

Plane crashes

Is it just me or have there been more plane crashes recently? Touching a forest of wood my flying experience has been quite uneventful, and I don't want this to change.

However, bumping me further up the plane might be good.

Depreciation

'Depreciation' used to be just a term I learnt when studying economics. Now when the pound has plunged from GBP1 to HK$16.0 to GBP1 to HK$10.6 I am beginning to understand its real meaning.

Everything feels 50% more expensive in HK than they were a year ago. Last few times in HK I was happily swiping my credit card thinking I was bagging loads of bargains. Gone were those days. Oh well maybe I should go to Iceland for my next holiday...any takers?

4-letter words

I'm not known for being expressive, but at the height of a few bouts of illness I was close to using a few 4-letter expletives to vent my emotions.

Today I was discussing two more innocuous 4-letter words with some friends - work and rest.

I have now swiftly come to the half way point of my 'rest' in HK. How many people get the chance to take a break from work for 6 weeks? Even if they do, how many of them can designate such time to rest fully? So I should know something about 'rest' other people don't, since I have spent at least 3 weeks of my life doing it.

Work is an interesting thing. Many people do it but not many people like it. 'Work' isn't just the 9-6 job you do in front of the computer screen during the week. To me, taking the tube is work, cooking is work, cleaning the bathroom is work, shopping is work. I doubt if anyone can ever get away from doing some work in their life. Work can only become easier, but never ceases to be 'work'.

Rest, on the other hand, is a break from work. It doesn't necessarily equate to 'holiday'. I could take a 'holiday' to Paris and still have to worry about accommodation, transport, food, language, navigation etc the whole time. Work has just taken another form; it hasn't disappeared with the notion of holiday.

God has Sabbath day to rest after 6 days of Creation. We have something called the weekend, but sadly for the majority of us it's the time to deal the with the aspects of life outside our job - relationships, friends, it could be more hard work.

I admit I still don't know how to balance work and rest fully, if it's the case that we can truly rest during our busy earthly lives. Robert de Niro said, "You'll have time to rest when you're dead." I doubt there will be a lot of TVs and sofas in heaven where people just 'rest'. There should still be work in heaven, and work is not necessarily a bad thing. I agree that we should make the most of our time on earth, but to make the most of it we need regular rests, we need to recharge our batteries. That's the way God designed our bodies to work like. Rest should be something that uses your physical body and spiritual mind a different way, without tiring you out, be it watching TV, sleeping, going for a walk. Sometimes when I feel I need a rest I go for a run. Controversial I know.

About how my 'rest' is going? I think I'm working hard to make sure it's going well! I went to Victoria Park on Friday, the Hong Kong Zoological and Botanical Gardens yesterday, and the Kowloon Park today. I think I visited more parks in HK in the last 3 days than I did the last 3 years...I think I deserve a medal.

Also, I have not looked at a single work email for 3 weeks. I only occasionally look at my company's share price to make sure that it's still there. I hope to hang on for another 3 weeks. I think I deserve another medal if I manage to.

Memory

I am always worried about losing my memory. So I specially went to get another external hard disk to back up all my electronic files (diary, photos etc), except that it doesn't seem to be working.

Apparently I have a good memory (it's not something you notice until someone tells you, like colour-blindness). I tend to remember random stuff, like my whole family's ID card numbers, people's dates of birth etc. Losing my memory, or the ability to remember, would make me quite a different person.

Ironically enough, my earliest memory is quite an embarrassing one. I started going to nursery when I was two. There I was repeatedly bitten by the girl sitting next to me, who evidently was having a lot of teething problems. I never told anyone about it until recently. I thought then it was part of going to nursery - you sing songs, you play games, you get bitten by The Girl Next To You. In my memory I never bit back, but I do remember those teeth marks, and wanting to cry every time I got bitten. How my mum didn't notice I don't know.

An example of me suffering in silence perhaps. But it wasn't The Girl Next To Me's fault, nor my teacher's, nor my mum's. I could only attribute this to me being dumb. But how would a two-year-old know that you are not supposed to be bitten? I religiously obeyed my mum's 'listen to your teacher' and my teacher's 'don't make any noise'. They never asked whether I was bitten by The Girl Next To Me so I never lied.

It's only when I became less dumb that I realised a two-year-old should never be bitten, no matter who by. So apart from warning all mums with young children the possibility of your darling being bitten, what have I learnt?

• I was a dumb child, and I probably still am
• People (or at least I) don't complain unless they know they could be treated better. At 2 years old we had little Knowledge of Good and Evil. TGNTM did not know biting people was wrong; I did not know being bitten was not part of going to nursery. In adult's wise eyes we were probably doing something very silly. We were just children.
  
  Centuries of slavery, discrimination, inequality lasted that long probably because people suffering didn't know they weren't born to be like that, and they could stand up for themselves. The actual matter is probably more complicated, but if only one has the hindsight, or better still, wisdom in seeing what is to come, would fairness have come earlier?

Sometimes I wonder whether even we as adults have full Knowledge of Good and Evil. I think not. So in what ways now have we been suffering in silence or mistreating each other?