Parenting

I have only been at the receiving end of parenting (I don't think raising a Tamagotchi pet when I was 13 counts), and I know it's no easy task.

What makes a good parent? Having a 'good' kid? A happy kid? A successful kid? A kid that looks after you when you are old?

Will the role of a parent change? When should they stop imposing their values onto their children? When do they realise they and their children can live different lives? When does a parent stop becoming more 'superior' than their children, and start listening to, and learning from them?

I sit and watch my parents looking after my grandparents, preparing myself for what is to come in some 30 years' time (and I realise the shocking fact that both will be in their 90s). No doubt some kind of role reversal will gradually take place. Yesterday my Dad said to me about 5 times in a space of 30 minutes, 'it will be 13 degrees tonight.' I tried to reason why he did it:

• he forgot he'd already told me
• he thought I would forget what he said and so told me once more just in case
• he still thought I wasn't wearing enough despite him telling me 4 times already (but it wasn't 13 degrees yet)
• he thought I wouldn't know how 'cold' 13 degrees is, so had to emphasise
• he had nothing better to say to me

Soon, instead of them telling me how many jackets I should be wearing, I would be getting them dressed, fed and washed. I wonder how much of it will be due to a different mind set, or changing ability. When I was a kid I relied on my parents to take me everywhere, I trusted in their sense of direction. That's because they were my parents, so they should know better. But now I realise they actually have little sense of direction. I am not sure whether they have physically deteriorated or they have been like this all along, which makes me wonder whether we got lost a lot when I was a kid.

But having a better sense of direction is probably more objective (because I get you to the destination quicker) than say, which guy to marry (just an example, I emphasise). When they say we should go east and I say west, we can look at the map and find out who's right. But with the less straight-forward decisions in life who has the final say? My parents, because they are my parents? Or me because it's my life we are talking about? And am I allowed to make my own mistakes?

And of course, the reason I'm ill now is because I didn't listen to my parents.

And I probably need to keep this entry and look back at it when I become a parent myself, if I don't get put off.